Hannah Holzhauer
MS, RDN, LDN, NBC-HWC

As a parent, watching your child struggle with an eating disorder can be heart-wrenching. You want to help, but knowing where to start and what to do can be overwhelming. One of the most crucial steps in supporting your child’s recovery is creating a supportive, nurturing environment at home. The right environment can foster healing, build trust, and empower your child on their path to recovery. Here are some practical steps you can take to help your child feel safe, understood, and inspired to begin their healing journey.

1. Prioritize Open Communication

The foundation of any strong relationship is communication. When your child is facing an eating disorder, it’s essential to keep the lines of communication open without being forceful or judgmental. Instead of asking questions like, “Why aren’t you eating?” or “What’s wrong with you?”, try more supportive phrases like “I’ve noticed that you’ve been struggling with food lately. How are you feeling?”. These open-ended questions help your child feel seen and cared for without judgment. Be patient with their responses. Recovery is a gradual process, and your child may not be ready to share all of their feelings and struggles right away. Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable talking about their challenges when they are ready.

2. Establish a Consistent Routine

Children with eating disorders often crave control, which can manifest in their relationship with food. Providing consistent routines can help create a sense of security, making it easier for your child to let go of some of that control over time. Set regular meal and snack times, and try to make meals calm and predictable. Instead of pressuring your child to eat, encourage them to join the family at the table. Keep the conversation light, positive, and non-confrontational. This structure should extend beyond meals, including daily activities, sleep, and social time. A well-balanced routine helps normalize eating and creates a sense of security, reducing anxiety and stress around food.

3. Model Healthy Behaviors

Children often look to their parents for guidance, especially when it comes to attitudes around food and body image. This is why it’s essential to model healthy behaviors and attitudes in your own relationship with food. Avoid negative talk about your body, dieting, or food in front of your child. Instead, focus on how food nourishes the body and supports overall well-being. Celebrate the diversity of body shapes and sizes, emphasizing that health doesn’t look the same for everyone. Your child is learning from your example, so it’s important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Practicing self-care and self-compassion can make a huge impact on how your child views their own body.

5. Foster a Culture of Compassion and Acceptance

Perhaps the most important aspect of supporting a child through an eating disorder is fostering an environment of compassion and acceptance. Recovery can be a long and difficult journey, and it’s easy for both you and your child to get discouraged at times. Instead of focusing on weight or appearance, celebrate small victories in their recovery process. Whether it’s them sitting down for a meal, making a positive comment about themselves, or simply being more open with sharing their feelings, these milestones should be acknowledged and celebrated. Ensure that your child knows they are loved, no matter what they look like or how far along they are in their recovery. Unconditional love and support are vital in helping your child heal and regain their confidence.

6. Educate Yourself

As a parent, educating yourself about eating disorders is one of the most powerful things you can do to support your child. By learning about the causes, symptoms, and treatment options, you’ll be better prepared to guide them through this challenging journey. Utilize resources like books, websites, blog posts, webinars, and support groups. The more you familiarize yourself with the complexities of eating disorders, the more effectively you’ll be able to help your child face and overcome the obstacles ahead.

Here is a list of resources you can utilize to learn more:

NEDA Parent Toolkit 

Parents Survive to Thrive Guide 

F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered And Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders) 

Support Groups:

National Alliance for Eating Disorders Virtual Friends & Family Support Group

ANAD Caregiver or Sibling Support Group  

Books:

Surviving an Eating Disorder: Strategies for Family and Friends 

Life Without Ed

Sick Enough: A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders 

The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery 

4. Encourage Professional Support

Eating disorders are complex and often require professional intervention. Whether through therapy, nutrition counseling, medical treatment, or a combination of these, it’s crucial to encourage your child to seek professional help. Help your child understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Support them in attending appointments, and when appropriate, ask how you can actively be involved in their treatment plan. 

Here is a list of local resources to support your child on their journey:

Eating Disorder Helpline: 1(888)-375-7767

The Emily Program

Carolina House 

Eating Recovery Center

Find an Eating Disorder Therapist Near Me 

Project HEAL

Conclusion

Recovering from an eating disorder is a complex and often lengthy process. However, by creating a supportive and nurturing environment at home, you can help your child feel safe, understood, and empowered to take the necessary steps toward recovery.

Patience, compassion, and professional support are key, but the most important thing you can offer your child is your unconditional love and belief in their ability to heal.